Abortion and adoption; they look so alike.
Funny huh? Just replace two letters, with all the other letters staying the same, and you have two words that seem to go hand in hand—but are so completely different.
Hand in hand, you say? Yes, I do! Because very often when I hear of adoption, there is always the follow up comment about abortion. I don’t think I am alone in thinking this, or experiencing this. And what is even crazier to me is that news programs, radio programs, major magazines and newspapers ALWAYS write about and bring up abortion in detail. I mean it was actually being discussed in the Health Care Bill. Really? Is there such a need to focus on something that is so person and SO opposite to adoption? Is society really that scared of talking about adoption that ABORTION has become a much more accepted conversation piece.
Well, thanks for slapping me in the face!
Comparing these two life-changing events cannot be done. I, myself, would never judge a woman who is in the position to consider these two options. After all, I have been unexpectedly pregnant. No passing judgment from me! But often people have no problem asking me if I considered abortion as an option. How rude! That is a question that should never be asked of any woman, it is none of your business, anyway! And I don’t think it is fair to compare those that do choose abortion to those that choose to have the child. Do you know all of the circumstances? Do you know what she was going through at the time, or what she was struggling with? No, I don’t think you do. So, until you are in those shoes you should not talk about what someone else does with their body. (Of course I would like to see all babies being born, but I also know that there are many sides to a story.)
So why even bring this up? Well, I have been dinged more times than I can count by people who see my “like” of Planned Parenthood on Facebook. Well, I did like it and for a very good reason, a reason with some personal experience behind it. You see, when I found out that I was pregnant, I went to Planned Parenthood because if you read the name and grew up in the 70s and 80s, as I did, you would have seen it as a place for help. A place where young girls and women go to find information on what it really means to have a baby; a place to find information about all options and all of their rights. Well, this is not what I found. There was some information there about adoption and parenting, but the main focus was on abortion. Planned Parenthood was talked of in school when we were in Health class; it had commercials on television of how it was a place for answers. So since it was answers that I was seeking, this is where I went first. I did not stay long.
So, if I ‘like’ Planned Parenthood on Facebook it is because perhaps there is a girl or woman out there who wants to know about adoption and she may not be able to find what she wants there, but she might see my post about being a birth mother, or see my face in the fans list and in a round about way … find a voice that can lead her to information that she really needs.
Perhaps she is considering adoption for her child and she wants to know the truth about it, the psychological side, the physical side, the legal process and what her rights are… then I think it is a good thing to put myself on there JUST IN CASE they DO find me. I would have loved to have found someone like me when I was pregnant, but there was no wonder of the World Wide Web and the plethora of stories and insights there is today. Perhaps there will be that opportunity to reach out to that one person who needs a voice to help. This is why I liked Planned Parenthood, and I will not dislike it anytime soon because there have been a couple of contacts from it, and that is why I advocate for adoption. Knowledge is power, and there is no reason not to gather all the knowledge you can to better understand what life will be like.
I already had this topic on my mind today and then I found this post from Carrying A Cat By The Tail that just blew my mind! The statistics were eye popping, and the post is very thought provoking. I thought it was just meant to be that I should write about this dark side of adoption and how even when you are looking for information about choosing life, you are really being handed information telling you that choosing life is not the right thing to do.