For most people, when they think of ways to start a family, it is pretty simple. After all, we all know what makes a baby! Most only think of one way to start a family. For some it involves falling in love, getting married and “making” a baby. Others choose to make a baby before getting married. Both ways are generally easy, and definitely the most typical way to start a family.
However, for many couples, starting a family just isn’t so easy. There are many factors that can make conceiving difficult. So what do those who can’t just “make” a baby do? Well, it all depends on what you and your significant other want.
It also depends on several other factors too. The biggest one is money. Unfortunately, starting a family in this circumstance is quite costly. If you don’t adopt from foster care, you can expect to pay a lot of adoption fees to adopt a child. From personal experience and couples I have talked to who have adopted, you can expect to pay between $20,000 and $50,000 depending on the type of adoption you choose to pursue. Infertility treatments, IVF, hormone injections, ICSI, and artificial insemination are not always covered by insurance and are definitely not cheap either.
Another factor can be your morals/religion. Many people feel that if they aren’t conceiving naturally, that they shouldn’t seek alternative means. Some people are not comfortable with “test-tube” babies or messing with the “typical” means of conception. That is ok. However, if they want to start a family and are not comfortable with assisted reproductive technology (ART), they will have to look to adoption to start a family.
Often times another road block can be emotions. Both partners may have strong feelings about how they want to begin their family. When their plans fail, they will have to work through it and overcome their emotions before deciding the right way to start a family.
Another factor can be family support or lack thereof. When choosing a “non-traditional” way to start you family, it is super helpful to have a support system. When you don’t have this support it can make things hard. I know some couples choose not to adopt because their immediate and extended family think adoption is horrible or tell them that they won’t really ever be parents, or that they will never love or be loved by this child the way they would be if they had a biological child. That can make things very hard. You and your partner (or yourself if you are starting a family on your own) need to decide how important that support is and if you can deal with the opposition and the possibility of having people leave your life because of your family building choices.
Starting a family is supposed to be an easy, natural part of life right?? Wrong! Starting a family can be tricky, complicated and hard for anyone. When starting a family doesn’t happen the way you planned, know that you have options; you just have to decide what path to family is right for you.