There’s something about a new year that leaves people feeling ready for a fresh start—a new goal, a new path, a new destination. That surge of reinvention is something I have personally always embraced. It feels good to revisit what it is you want out of your life, and to map out the best way to get there. This time of year just serves as a great reminder to do that.
Which is probably why it was around this time of year when I first resolved to adopt. After years of battling infertility (slowly healing from those wounds) it was at some point in late November/early December of 2012 that it hit me—my heart had finally opened to adoption.
It had been a long road for me to get there. I really did go back and forth for years, so many other hurdles holding me back (Did I want to adopt as a single woman, or should I keep waiting for Mr. Right? Did adopting mean really giving up on ever having a biological child? Was I ready to do that? Would I ever be?) But that year, after happening across a series of profiles for children in foster care awaiting adoption, I realized… this really was what I wanted. And I was ready.
My heart had finally shifted in a way that I felt resolved in. Adoption through foster care was the path I actually wanted to take. It wasn’t just the only option left, or second best to raising a child carried beneath my heart; it was the option I was ready to choose. Wholeheartedly.
Which was how I knew I was ready.
So that New Year, I made it official—I resolved to become a mother in 2013. It was my only resolution; the only one that mattered enough to actually commit to.
With that resolve, I began making calls. I set up my home study, I attended the classes, and I moved forward with a singular focus.
My original sights were set on adopting an older child through foster care, something I still feel pretty passionate about and foresee in my future. But something happened the day I truly opened my heart to adoption as a path to parenthood—other doors began to open as well. Doors I hadn’t even considered or thought available to me.
By February 21st of 2013, my resolution came to fruition. I was in the delivery room as my little girl was born into my arms. It just so happened to be the very last day of my foster care certification classes, though in the days prior, my adoption path had clearly veered in an unexpected direction.
After years of fighting for this moment, I was finally a mother. And I still swear it happened the way it did because I had become ready and willing to open my heart to adoption. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if the opportunity to adopt my daughter had been presented to me even 6 months earlier, I wouldn’t have been open to it. I would have said “no.” Timing is everything, and in this case, the timing absolutely aligned perfectly to bring me and my little girl together.
Now, for the record, I know that my story is incredibly unique—and I also know just how lucky I am. Most adoption stories don’t move so swiftly, and it’s almost unheard of to start down the path of older child foster care adoption, and to have those first steps somehow lead to a very quick private infant adoption. What happened for me won’t happen for everyone resolving to adopt, and certainly not as quickly.
But I still say there was something to that resolution that set the wheels in motion. I still believe that finally deciding, once and for all, that adoption would be my path to parenthood, opened the doors that led me to my little girl.
And for that, I will be forever grateful.
So maybe you’ve been on the fence about adoption for a while. Maybe your heart is still healing from infertility, or even failed placements from the past. Maybe you just haven’t been quite ready to start down this path.
You’ve been waiting for a sign. A moment to open your heart and change your mind.
Maybe this is that moment.
Resolutions don’t work like magic. You can’t just snap your fingers and become a parent—not through traditional means, and not through adoption. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t always turn out so perfectly. But if your heart is opening to adoption, perhaps this is the year to resolve your pursuit of that path.
And maybe this will be the year your dreams of parenthood finally come true.