Adoption is Not Plan B

I don’t like it when people refer to our adoptions as our Plan B or second choice. I think it sounds awful, and I think my children will feel that way too. First, was adopting always in my plans? Yes, but I figured it would be international adoption. Was getting pregnant before adopting also my plan? Yes. When we were first married, we were doing okay, but knew we didn’t have the funds to adopt at that point and it wouldn’t be a financially sound decision. We wanted to start our family right away and tried to do what a lot of newly married couples do; conceive. It didn’t work out. However, the moment I was told we had a zero percent chance of conception, I told my husband we were adopting right away and somehow we would find the funds. Our plans shifted to domestic adoption as we wanted to experience being parents to a newborn.

Not Plan BSo, was this our Plan B or second choice? You can call it that if you’d like, but we won’t. For us, it was our way to start a family. I just wanted to be a mommy and didn’t care how that was going to happen. I wanted to love and raise children with my husband. I just wanted it to happen. Was I saddened that I wouldn’t experience pregnancy? Yes. However, I was just as excited to adopt as I would be if pregnant. Sure, at first the headache of all the paperwork overshadowed that, but I was very excited. The moment we were matched, I told the world! I was going to be a Mommy! I did have fear in the back of my head, but in my mind I was going to be a Mommy to a little girl in just 3 months!! She would be my first child. She was not my second choice or my Plan B. She was my daughter.

If you end up with a son when you really wanted a daughter, do you call him your Plan B? I don’t think so! Just because I became a mother through adoption instead of pregnancy doesn’t mean my children are my second choice or Plan B. This was the way my life turned out, and I’m happy it turned out this way. This was the course I feel I was always meant to take. I did truly always want to adopt, and I feel I was led to adoption sooner than I thought because I was meant to get MY kids.

 

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